Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Greatest Defeat. If I could have just one more hug.

I have a post that I've been dreading to write. One that represents the realization of one of my greatest fears... something I've fought with every ounce of my being to stave off and keep away... to close my eyes and wish I was in a different place. It's a battle I didn't win.

We didn't win.

And it makes my heart ache and split into a billion raw pieces across the universe. To put it in black and white truly feels as if my body has been ripped in two... and I suppose it kind of has.

A very big piece of me. my life. my dreams. my love. my inspiration. my strength....... now rests in eternity on the other side.

My Dad fought an immensely admirable battle for 2 years. 2 very long arduous years. He valiantly soldiered through until his last moments here with us.... until the angels finally came down in storm of fury to carry him Home.

I have never felt such a hole, such a void. I am learning slowly, day by day, to put one foot in front of the other and to cherish each moment for all it's worth, to suck this life dry to the last drop. I miss him every moment of every day and wish for just one more hug.

I find peace in knowing that he is in a much better place. Cancer doesn't win in Heaven. I am proud to call this great man my Dad and I know that I have an incredible guardian angel on my shoulders now....

His amazing spirit will live on through all of us.

I will write more later of the unbelievable journey. There are so many things to process in my head, this has been the hardest experience of my entire life to handle and not crumble, so many days that I've nearly hit the floor. But for now that is the update, the reason for the blogging hiatus, while we reel ourselves back in from this and plan the worlds greatest wake to honor someone I admired most on this planet.

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