Friday, August 12, 2011
**A little bit of reality, a little bit of inspiration, and a whole lot of love. Letters for my Dad as we travel this journey together, packed into his chemo bag along with treats like black licorice and hot rod magazines**
Aug 11 2011
Well I’m sure you never guessed you’d ever be sitting here hooked up to wires getting chemo treatments… you and me both Dad. No one saw this one coming, not quite something you plan for your life. I hate that this is happening to you and that I can’t fix it, I wish I could close my eyes and make it go away. I’m so sorry that you’ve been chosen for whatever reason to endure this and if I could take on the burden myself I’d do it in a heartbeat. You deserve the world Dad… not this… definitely not this. But sometimes life deals you a shitty hand. It’s just another bump in the road, one that we will look back and laugh at, at least maybe a little bit.
I want you to know that I’m going to be here Dad, you’re not in this alone. I’m fighting right alongside you. I vow to do everything in my power to make this journey easier for you. When you’re tired and afraid I hope you can look to me for energy and strength. When you’re wondering ‘why me’ I hope you realize that you didn’t do anything wrong. When you’re afraid of what the future holds I hope you can trust that it is all going to be ok, if anyone can take this on it’s you. You have the courage of a lion, remember that. When you feel completely alone and that no one understands I hope you know that you’re never by yourself, because I’m right here, right here with you Dad, no matter what. You’ve always been there for me, through thick and thin, always my center of strength and I will do all that I can to give that back to you now.
There’s no playbook they hand you with a diagnosis of cancer you’ve just got to roll with the punches. This will not take you down, it IS going to be ok. You are one very special man and this cancer picked the wrong special man. If you taught me one thing it’s how to stand up and fight, so we’re fighting. And that’s it. Chin up soldier, time to keep marching forward.
I love you always and forever,