Monday, April 25, 2011

D-Day is coming... Just as scary the 2nd time around

And what a cute play on words that title is ;) Baby D is coming soon... too soon if you ask me. As uncomfortable as I am (so much worse than last time) and as excited as I am, I am also terrified.

Who in the world tells you that since it's your second baby the whole process is easier, less stressful, etc. "You already know the ropes" "You know what to expect"...

umm no.

I beg to differ.

I have NO clue on this earth what it is going to be like to have TWO kids to take care of. That statement may sound trivial at first, especially to moms of millions of kids, but really it is something I stress out about every day of my life right now.

TWO... two of them... one of me..... two that want "up"... two that want "milkie"... two times the tantrums... two times the diaper changes... Woooo Saaahhh

I'm freaked out. Clearly. I mean HL is a total handful himself and I am nearly falling over by the end of the day counting the exact seconds until 7:30 when he can go to bed. I already do a million loads of baby laundry which takes me weeks to finally put away. I clean my house, kitchen, and floors a minimum of 3 times a day. And this is all for ONE kid. What in the heck is gonna happen when Baby D arrives?!

I look at other couples with their one little bundle and want to snark at them "Oh you just WAIT! ONE kid is soooo easy"... yes I've become THAT lady... but at least it's all in my head right now, I haven't really shouted this at any of them yet ;)

And afterall this IS what we signed up for. We wanted the kids close together. We planned this. No one shoved a baby in my uterus and said "surprise"... so it's time to suck it up. I realize this all sounds a bit on the pessimistic side but I think it's important to acknowlege this side of the whole blissful baby situation. Bringing another human being into the world is not something to be taken lightly and just because you've done it once doesn't mean that it gets ANY easier the second time around. You'll never find me trying to assure another mom of that because it's just as stressful, you're just as anxious.

How do you meet 2 kid's needs? How do you love them each enough? How do you give them each individual attention? Once you've mastered all of that, how in the world do you have anything left for yourself or your husband? How do you manage a grocery trip with a newborn and an 18 month old? How do you coordinate nap times? What happens if one starts to cry in the middle of the night and wakes the other up? How do you have enough eyes and arms to supervise, hold, and feed?

It's obviously quite the undertaking and yah... just a tiny bit stressful. And I can't imagine I'm the only one that has felt this way, who spends every waking second worrying about how this house of cards is going to fall. I guess you just figure it out... right?

So on the upside, the only way to rationalize all of this psychotic bantar in my head is to remind myself of the good. As the old adage goes "no one said it was going to be easy, but they said it'd be worth it" and so I wander around the house picking up messes woo-saahh-ing myself to that. I am over the moon to meet my second son, to watch him grow up as I've seen HL do, to snuggle a newborn baby again, so many things.... and that will never change no matter how insane our lives are about to get.

Time to remember it's
2 times the kisses
2 times that great baby smell
2 times smiles
2 times the "mama!"
2 times the cute hats
2 times the love
2 times the miracle we've been blessed to have


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