Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Ahhh to be pregnant... the most ridiculous products & fashion imaginable

First off it's always entertaining to me the amount of nonsense you have to put up with when you're pregnant. The comments from strangers, the uninvited touching of the belly by some random dude in Target, the advice on delivery and breastfeeding from 80 year old women....

but the most highly entertaining to date....the fashion & products available.

I started my morning simply looking for a cute red maternity tee for Christmas. Never found one that I liked so I guess I'll have to make my own but what I did find was just purely awesome.

We have exhibit 1, I saw this and said 'Oh, that's a cute dress' and then proceeded to spit my breakfast on the computer when I read that it is a DELIVERY GOWN!! Yes folks, we are apparently supposed to wear this when we go to push a baby out of our vaginas. Are we supposed to throw on the stillettos too???

Scrolled onto a couple more pages and found this gem. Maternity suspenders... Pretty sure that one doesn't even need an explanation.

Maybe it's just me, but maternity overalls send off little banjos in my head and since we don't live in the backwoods I'm going to have to pass on these babies. Shockingly enough, they are part of Heidi Klum's line of maternity wear... I must've missed that fashion memo, is this really in style??

How could I forget this one, a regular old nursing bra, which I've included because clearly everyone looks like this after giving birth! You wouldn't believe the amount of products I saw with women rocking 6 packs and it's supposed to be "maternity" or "nursing" wear. Or my favorites the undergarment and pantyhose photos where every single model and manequin is wearing 5" stripper heels. Way to go marketing gurus.

Ok... ok... wait!! Now THIS ONE truly takes the cake! It's not geared toward women but men rather. Wait for it....

the MR. MILKER, I could not be more serious, it is a MALE BREASTFEEDING DEVICE!!!! :::::BlankStare::::: oh my gawd! As if the product itself wasn't ridiculous enough the product description and highlights are even more insane. They talk about "breastfeeding envy" and how men are jealous of breastfeeding therefore they created this boob contraption that literally holds breastmilk and allows the man to experience breastfeeding as if the boobs were his own. :::::Continue Blank Stare:::::: I mean I get the whole envy of the bonding experience of breastfeeding, but being jealous of the actual act of milk coming out of your boob.... whaaaatt?? And I thought the thing in Meet The Fockers was a joke?! And this isn't the ONLY one, there are several of these "devices" I'll just leave you to chew on that one for a while.


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