Monday, October 4, 2010

Formula Recall: Breast vs. Bottle a nasty uneccessary war

So I guess I'm going to jump on the debate bandwagon because the more I read about this issue, the more posts I see I feel compelled to voice my thoughts and that IS the purpose of a blog, no? My first thought on all of this hoo ha is WHAT THE HECK?? For crying out loud do we really need MORE things to argue about these days, isn't there enough of that going on in the world, isn't there enough conflict, enough "I'm better than you"... I mean really.

If you've managed to miss all of the hullabaloo let me sum it up for you, there was a formula recall due to insect parts being found in the formula (agreed, gross) and because of this unfortunate situation the lactivists and similar folk out there have used it as a platform to proclaim... again... that Breast Is Best. It's not just that, the problem is that things are being taken WAAAY to the extreme like saying "formula feeders deserve this" and nastier comments stepping way over the line. It's like an underground hate crime against formula feeders.

Let me identify which side of the fence I'm on here. We use formula, we have since day 1. My son was born premature and underweight with growth issues. I was dead set on breastfeeding, my goal was to breastfeed for one year. To spare the gruesome details I was unable to breastfeed more or less due to a supply issue. I saw lactation consultants, spent who knows how much money, did triple feeding 24 hours a day for weeks on end, tried several medications which ultimately pushed me into Postpartum Depression and that's when I said ENOUGH. IS. ENOUGH! My safety and sanity far outweighed the benefit of attempting to continue breastfeeding. So formula it was.

I think it goes without saying that my kid is happy healthy and wonderful now at 10 months old. I don't consider myself to be a bad mother for not breastfeeding. And yes I plan to attempt breastfeeding again with our next child, if it doesn't work I won't lose sleep over it this time. What you will NEVER find me doing is jumping on some high horse and bashing breastfeeding mothers or trying to convince the world that my way is the best way- the ONLY way. You won't find me hitting below the belt on the issue. It's asinine. I believe that you do what works for you and there is no universal path to the finishline in life.

What happened to women being compassionate for one another??? How can anyone proclaim to be such a fantastic mother for breastfeeding and then lambast another mother for making a different choice for whatever reasons. What the hell kind of message does that send to their children... and what kind of a role model are they being. Awful, it's just awful. The comments being made make me sick. If a mother lost their child due to suffocation in their crib could you even fathom someone saying "well you used a crib bumper so you DESERVED it!" I mean that is horrifying and that's how I see this issue, the ugly bantar is just so uneccessary.

As fellow mommy blogger over at Fearless Formula Feeder put it "I lose more faith in humanity by the day, but especially in the portion of humanity that have vaginas."

And why is it that WOMEN are the ones to stir things like this up when we know first hand how hard it is to be a mother. You don't see the men out there at work arguing with one another about trivial things like this. In fact I found an awesome post from a Dad. If you're wondering  the male perspective of this issue. Here's an excerpt of his post which was truly poignant.

"To people like her and those who post as “godshelper” with criticisms and comments – have you ever held a hungry and screaming child? Have you ever listened to your own baby crying because she’s starving and your body — which just went through a nine month version of boot camp — can’t provide what she needs?

Imagine the fear. Imagine the frustration. Imagine the guilt.

Imagine all that, and then? Shut the hell up.

It takes more than sperm to make a good father and it takes way more than breast milk to make a good mother."

If you want to breastfeed, more power to you, whip your boobs out in public I won't be complaining. But don't you DARE go for the throat and try and talk me down as a mother when I pull out a bottle of formula because then you will see this momma turn into your worst nightmare. Have some compassion and empathy for other women and come off of the high horse. We don't need anymore of this crap in our world, our children don't need to be raised with anymore conflict, nastiness, or segregation.

::::steps off of soapbox::::


Kara-Kae James said...

Amen sister. I got lashed out about this from a doctor last week, and it was a horrible experience. ( I did everything I could to breastfeed, and after having the worst pain imaginable, nerve damage, two rounds of mastitis where I was in the ER and almost hospitalized and seeing tons of specialists there was nothing I could do but stop breastfeeding.

My daughter has never missed a meal. She is super healthy, and actually had 6 tubs of the recalled formula and is totally fine. I think there are bigger issues to worry about here for sure.

Dina said...

To those who can, do your best, but when you can't - why fret? Breastfeeding is not easy, I will always remember the pain which I always had to endure for the first 1 week. Mothers should be given the right to choose how to feed her baby - she's the one who put her life at risk in order to bring forth the baby into the world. They are so many larger issues in this world - like starvation, human trafficking, etc.

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