Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Milestones and mommy guilt

So this is a new thing for me in the mommy realm... mommy guilt... I better get used to it right? But this time it's surrounding the whole concept of milestones. Whoever coined this term should be shot and so should the people, articles, and pediatricians out there that wholeheartedly emphasize the importance of said milestones.

Of all people you would think that I would know this by now. And since I missed the memo in my years as a pediatric nurse can I be one to tell the mommies out there that "EVERY BABY GOES AT THEIR OWN PACE"... for the love! I am totally guilty in this, I constantly find myself measuring HL up to the appropriate milestones for his age and the truth is sometimes he doesn't hit them as fast as other babies or as soon as I think he should.... like crawling... dude you are 8 1/2 mos old and NOT crawling, not even really getting on all 4's, or rocking, what is the deal yo? But I have to keep telling myself that there isn't some profound problem with him, he is just moving at his own pace. It's like I have to turn myself into "nurse mode" and rattle off the same boring statement that I tell patients because when it translates to MY life it is somehow different.... why I don't know... but I can't seem to get it through my head.

I wish I had never read any parenting books, I wish I was like all of those parents that parent "accidentally" (that's how I like to call it) who have no concept of "normal" or "advanced" or "behind"... because they are blissfully oblivious.

My "normal" mind knows that HL is perfectly fine and that he is doing things HIS way (what's new here, he IS related to me right?) and that there is no need for concern. But in comes the mommy guilt monster and I somehow feel like he is inferior to what he should be and so I find myself coaxing him to try and get him achieving these milestones. I know... parent of the year award right here... I bait my child with pickles and his bottle to try and get him to crawl... gasp! The madness has to stop now.

I vow from here on out to let him grow at his own pace (yes there is a time at which you should become concerned but we are FAR from that). And the stupidest part of the whole idea is that I should be counting my blessings that my child is still "immobile" at 8 months old because I will be sorry when he finally can crawl and walk and run all over and get into everything and make me want to pull every last bit of my hair out.

So can I please proclaim to myself and all of the other mommies out there in the same place YOUR BABY IS FINE! They are growing at their own pace so leave them alone! For the love of god don't start pushing your overachieving, perfectionist, must be number 1 attitude onto your poor little baby, they have a lifetime to aquire those undesireable traits themselves.


Lisa said...

Hi! Thanks for following, I'm now your newest follower!!! :) Looking forward to reading more on your blog. What an adorable baby!!! You're right, they reach each milestone at their own pace. Glad you're taking the pressure off yourself. We love Bob Marley too. He actually lived with his grandmother in our little state of DE and was working as a contractor just before he made it big. A little trivia for ya!

Lisa xoxo
Raising Future Leaders

Tracy @ Cut/Copy and Paste said...

Thank you so much for following me. I am returning the favor and I am now your latest follower.


Terry said...

Cute blog. I am following you back. Thanks Terry

The Paper Princess said...

Thanks for joining me at Create With Joy - I am following you back!

I am hosting a Vintage Christmas Giveaway thru Friday if you or your readers would like to participate!


Jennie said...

Thanks for the following. I am now following your lovely blog.


Karyn Climans said...

You're right, all of the labels and "should have" comments should be thrown out the door! Good for you to have figured that out so quickly.
Visiting you from Bloggy Moms.

Shazia said...

Well said! Of course, I am mommy to a 7.5 month old who refuses to roll from back to belly...she can sit up on her own though! See, there I go...again! Seriously though, I have learned to just realize that Seraya will do things when she is ready! Thanks for the post!

Valerie S said...

Wow, I seriously could have written this exact post! My son is almost 9 months (Nov. 11 bday) and he isn't crawling yet either. I've even been putting him up on all fours and he has no clue what to do. I know it's silly to do it since he will do it when he's ready. I had to lol at using pickles to get him to crawl though. My baby likes pickles too. I thought he would hate them, was just trying to get him to make a face, haha. You and I should definitely get over it and enjoy the immobility of our babes, because it will end soon enough!

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