Monday, July 26, 2010

Adventures in Martha Stewart Land...

So the other day I got the hairbrained idea to make some cupcakes... easy enough right... ok. I got the Devils Food cake mix and the plan was to make some strawberry cream cheese frosting. First off, you have to make sure you don't screw up the High Altitude directions, check. Then you make sure you don't burn the cupcakes, check. Then make sure they cool evenly when coming out of the oven, check. I was feeling pretty dang proud of myself at this point since I usually screw up one or all of the above any other time I make "baked" goods. Now time for the frosting...

I had a bag of frozen strawberries, a bag of confectioners sugar (a fancy word for powdered sugar), my cream cheese, and butter. I was following a recipe online that called for you to beat the cheese and butter then add the strawberries and then add in the sugar. I can do that... so I started... beat the cheese then grabbed half my bag of strawberries and blended them up and threw them in and then started adding the powdered sugar. The recipe called for 3-4 cups of sugar so I started with 1 then 2 beating away. The mixture started looking way too runny to use as frosting so I began to add a little more of the powdered sugar, I mean that should thicken it up right? No.... it didn't... but I kept rationalizing that it should and kept pouring in the powdered sugar. In fact I poured in the ENTIRE bag eventually and guess what I was left with?? A gigantic bowl of gruel.... it was still so runny it would drip off of the spoon, and taste.... oh my.... it was beyond sweet, a 2 year old wouldn't even touch this stuff.

Crap... now what... now I've got these perfect cupcakes and nothing to go on them. It occured to me that maybe I should've drained the frozen strawberries, maybe they were too watery and ruined my mixture. So now I had to start over, this time with limited ingredients. I only had half the strawberries left, I had a couple of half blocks of cream cheese in the fridge, I still had butter, and another almost empty bag of powdered sugar. So I started the recipe over, after beating the cream cheese and butter I realized the consistency at this point was really thick, then as I added in the powdered sugar it started to get runny... now wait a minute... that makes no logical sense to me (still doesn't) but nonetheless it started to get too runny (and this was with only using 1 cup of sugar instead of 4!) so I added another stick of butter and finally my mixture was a decent thickness to frost my cupcakes.

So what the hell... I followed a recipe and it turned out like crap... I don't know what those ladies ended up with but I couldn't have presented those gruel cupcakes to even my dogs. And what is up with the laws of physics, why does adding the sugar make it thinner... I'm still trying to figure that one out. And all I was trying to do was make some damn cupcakes, this isn't rocket science folks.... but apparently my Martha Stewart bone was missing from my body that day??

Apparently I need some more practice in baking... maybe ditching those home ec. classes was a bad idea, you know those classes where you say "I will NEVER in my life use this" well surprise I guess this was one life skill I should've paid more attention to in school. But check them out, they didn't turn out too shabby ey?


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