Monday, June 28, 2010

If I could write a Letter To Me...

And send it back in time to myself....

This Music Monday is in tribute to Raising Madison's blog hop, a letter to myself


Dear 7 year old me...
Enjoy your carefree youth, never stop swinging on the monkey bars or doing backflips off the swings (even though the teacher's aids constantly yell at you for that one). Have fun playing on the "spider" and spend countless hours at the park living in a world of imagination and forts, Harriet the Spy, and anything else you can dream of. This is all you need to worry about right now little girl. Home life may be a little rocky, living between two households will never get easier but you'll manage. Try not to hate your brother so much for all of the days of torturing he puts you through, you will be best friends one day believe it or not. Be a good friend, one of the amazing girls you'll meet this year will be the Maid of Honor on your wedding day...

Dear 13 year old me...
Who do you think you are honey?? You don't have to try so hard for people to like you, I wish you could get that one through your head... You'll meet some wild friends this year and get into more trouble than you (or your parents) could ever imagine. Ease up on the partying and drinking and troublemaking, you have a million more years for that... But don't change everything, these next years will shape the person you become. For the love of god could you pick out a more attractive tattoo than the one I'm left with today... guess not... lesson learned.

Dear 15 year old me...
I told you these next few years would shape your life... and sorry hun, they're not over yet. You're all twitterpated in love these days with a very charming guy... too charming... Enjoy it but learn from it, put your guard up higher than you think you should. When he breaks your heart this first time MOVE ON!! Did you hear me?? Do NOT waste four years of your life being a convenience for him, being at his beckon call. But you never did listen to anyone did you... so you won't listen to me. So let me tell you that he will bring you the best and worst times you've ever experienced in life but you will live to see another day. You'll get hurt, BAD, in cheerleading, but get used to it... it comes with the territory. When you break your leg, stop trying to be wonder woman and let people help you, you will fall down the stairs if you keep trying to crutch up and down them.

Dear 16 year old me...
Slow down in the car, you can't go unscathed forever. Keep blasting your music, even after your car stereo gets stollen because music fuels and recharges you and always will. Enjoy every single day of life with your best friend, you two really should pursue getting a camera crew to follow you around, you could be millionaires today if you do, just sayin. Be a little less of a pothead and a little more of a good student, because believe it or not one day you won't think it's that cool anymore. Give yourself a bit of an attitude check, yes you know you are awesome in all ways, but a little modesty and humbleness could go a long way for you. Keep up with the tumbling, you WILL nail that roundoff back handspring, and with a little more effort even a back tuck! And refrain from decking your coach when she drops you giving you concussion #3, it's just frowned upon.

Dear 17 year old me...
I tried to tell you to move on after he broke your heart the first time... what time are we on now...four?? He is not worth the heartache, and this will be the worst you experience. Stop beating yourself up, stop thinking if you were "prettier" "funnier" "taller" he would be different, give it a few years and you'll see. Do not chase him to Colorado Springs for college because life is about to throw you a twist and you'll be moving right back. Enjoy these last times without much responsibility, live your life to the fullest, cherish your friendships, and dream big. You'll learn a lot about your family this year, you'll realize that people are human and have flaws and you'll learn that you have the ability to shape your destiny. Try to remember that life has a plan for you even though you think you're in control. Oh yea and when you hear every vertebrae crack during that double full down in cheerleading GO TO THE DOCTOR, it's not a pulled muscle, you broke your NECK! And this will cause you years of pain if you don't rehab it.

Dear 18 year old me...
That psychic was right wasn't she! This new unexpected man you've found is NOT too good to be true, treat him well and don't be afraid to fall in love... fall HARD... he will get down on his knee and ask you to marry him someday but I don't want to get ahead of myself. You will learn so much about yourself these next few years, you will learn to trust again and realize that not all men are there to take advantage of you, your self confidence will come back, you will turn over a new leaf. You have a completely different outlook on life these days, all grown up some will say but you feel great about it. You'll get a great job that you'll keep until you finish nursing school and the relationships you build there will last a lifetime.

Dear 20 year old me...
The day you've dreamed of all your life is on the horizon... and here he is in front of you on one knee. You'll finally feel what it means for your heart to leap out of your chest. Planning the wedding will be the most fun you've ever had, paying for it is another story! You find out who your true friends are the next two years, you lose a lot but you gain a lot in nursing school. Don't beat yourself up over these relationships, and don't worry about the people in your past... there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. Remember that. You'll start your own business this year and fear not, it WILL succeed! You will be amazed at how well you do. Stop procrastinating on the taxes... that will come back to bite you in the butt!

Dear 22 year old me...
That magical day has arrived and it will go off without a hitch, you have over planned it and beat it to death so you should expect nothing less. And stop obsessing it will NOT rain. You will cry more than you thought possible, your heart will overflow with joy, your dress will be perfect, you won't mess up your vows, and the dinner will be amazing. You'll see the most amazing side of your father that you've ever witnessed and this mental image will stay with you forever. You will have a greater appreciation for your mother and will be closer to your brother than ever before. Pride is what you will feel this year, extreme pride. You will also experience the most hopeless and helpless feeling you've ever had. Keep faith that there is a plan for you and your beautiful baby IS coming to you he's just taking longer than you planned. You are not infertile and you CAN get pregnant. You and your husband will grow immensly close during this struggle to build a family and you'll learn once again that you are not invinceable.

Dear 23 year old me...
Your first pregnant birthday... how does it feel? I told you your baby would be on the way soon. You will be the most beautiful pregnant lady, you won't look like jabba the hut. Don't let your mom talk you into getting such huge maternity clothes, you will never be big enough for them. Stop and enjoy these 9 months they will go by faster than you could imagine and you'll be missing it so much. Your baby will be perfectly healthy so don't worry too much when they find his growth issues. And you WILL survive labor so don't freak out too much about induction, yes the contractions will suck BAD, no your epidural will NOT work, yes you will get an episiotomy but guess what you'll make it through just fine. Oh yea and don't worry about starving during labor, you will have no desire for food. Enjoy the times with just you and your hubby and your beautiful pregnant belly life is about to change big time... for the better...

Dear 24 year old me...
You will be a better mother than you thought you would. You will survive those "newborn" days just fine, and that sleep deprivation you were so worried about will not be as bad as you thought it would be. Don't stress so much about breastfeeding, it just isn't meant to be this time around. And DONT take those milk supply meds, the postpartum depression isn't worth it but you'll come out of that just fine too. You will feel very complete looking at your beautiful son, you were meant to be a mother and you are really doing an amazing job. You WILL get the garden planted this year and you'll follow through on your goal to make your own baby food. Life will be challenging this year but HL will make everything you do and struggle for worth it. You will fall deeper in love with your husband and realize how much of a team you are and how much you need him, your realtionship will see trials but you will grow so much stronger for them. And that baby weight will come off just fine but you will finally have to start maintaining your weight and dare I say working out consistently...Welcome to life my dear... remember again to have faith that life has a plan for you and go with the flow rather than fighting the current.


You'll make it through this and you'll see...
You're still around to write this letter to me...

1 comments:

Joanna said...

so glad you participated... great letter :)

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