Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The 4th Trimester, who's ready for another baby!!?

No one ever prepared me for the "4th Trimester" the time after you're pregnant when you're home with a new baby adjusting to everything. Really having a newborn isn't that bad, all the horror stories you hear, everyone throwing their two cents in, trust me I was worried, really worried and it isn't all that bad. And that's coming from someone who ended up with Postpartum Depression and who has a colicky baby (going on for almost 5 weeks now). Sure some days are awful, I mean pretty awful. And then some days are great, relaxing, amazing. So all in all, it isn't that horrible like everyone tries to scare you into thinking. Remember all of those comments "WAIT to have a baby, it changes everything.... the sleep deprivation.... the crying... blah" yes we all remember these comments. I can proudly say now that they were wrong I'm very happy that we didn't wait any longer to have a baby. Having him here is pure life bliss with a touch of chaos thrown in.

One of the hardest things about this "4th Trimester" that I had never even thought about was the grieving process you go through for not being pregnant anymore. That's the best way I can put it, it's like you grieve for a loss... very odd... I wasn't one of those ladies who just adored being pregnant, actually I remember saying on multiple occassions that those ladies were nuts! Who would love this... it's hard work! But now that I'm no longer pregnant I miss it so much, daily.... and I could see myself saying that I loved be pregnant because of that. No one prepared me for this, no one prepared me to miss having that belly so much that I'd be ready to try for another one when my baby was 8 days old, just to have that feeling back. Imagine the look on hubby's face when I said, "sooo let's have another one", but I was dead serious. And the worst part is that no matter how many times I end up pregnant, it will NEVER be the same as the first time because now I'll have other little ones to care for while being pregnant. I'm sure you start missing out on that bonding time, really soaking it in, because you're distracted by the other kids. I'm sure you miss those first kicks because you aren't sitting for hours on end staring at your belly begging this baby to give you that first kick. I'm sure you don't take the time to enjoy it like the first one, it's not really possible when you have to play Mommy too.

Being pregnant is so special, truly special. There is so much attention and focus on you, just walking around in public people stare and smile. It's a wonderful feeling. That's right I'm pregnant, I have a miracle growing inside of me that only I can nourish and protect, a symbol of the love I share with my husband, it's an amazing feeling. Everyone dotes on you and spoils you and why shouldn't they, you're growing a human and it really is a lot of work. I miss this all so much, and I was certainly not expecting it, I wish someone had prepared me. I stare at the weekly pictures of myself with a growing belly and it brings tears to my eyes. I was beautiful, I can see that "glow" in my face. I do laundry that has been piling up and I pull out shirts and think the last time I wore that I was pregnant. I open the bathroom drawer and see the positive pregnancy test that I can't bear to get rid of yet and I remember my reaction to those 2 lines appearing. I remember all of the random car trips to get food for my cravings listening to my hubby laugh at me while I ordered the most ridculous concoctions. Who knew I'd miss these little things so much that I'd be willing to jump right back on the bandwagon even after my crazy labor and delivery.

So let me be the one to prepare all of you out there still walking around with your beautiful bellies.... cherish this time, it's just as special to be pregnant as it is to have your baby here. Sure it adds another dimension to the game once the baby is actually here, but carrying them around inside of you is just as special. Don't rush along the pregnancy. First you're waiting until the first trimester is over so you're not sick and you're not worried about miscarrying. Then you rush on to the BIG ultrasound to see if it's a boy or a girl. Then you rush on to the baby shower. Then you get to the end and all you beg for is to go into labor, you can't wait for the baby to be out. At 37 weeks you start doing everything you can think of to start speeding things along. Please ladies.... slow down..... count every day and every week and every month and every trimester.... I feel like I got robbed out of 3 weeks of my pregnancy, I'm bummed that I didn't go the full 40 weeks. So take it as it comes because I promise you, "you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast.... these are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now...... but you're gonna miss this"

I know I do...


Nicole said...

well put. I never thought I'd miss being pregnant but I certainly do. And I definitely was wanting another one at like a week post partum, too. LOL.

JnA said...

I couldn't have said it better myself

Anonymous said...

Very well said...I can't seem to throw away my positive pregnancy test either :)

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