Wednesday, November 4, 2009

36 weeks: All coming to an end…

(In my Halloween costume... 36 weeks!)

What a rollercoaster this experience has been. Aside from the normal ups and downs of pregnancy I feel like with all of the extra little issues we’ve had I haven’t been able to catch my breath in 9 months… I will breathe a huge sigh of relief when my precious son enters this world and I can finally look into his eyes and know that he is here and he is ok. And what a surreal feeling to look down and say, I did this, I made him, I grew him inside of me, I nourished him, sacrificed for him, and he’s here… after all of this, he is here.

So this is my last week of being pregnant and that is a weird thought! 9 months is a long time! You almost adapt to this new way of living only to be tossed upside down again when it’s time to deliver. I have really starting getting used to the aches and pains, tiredness and clumsiness, shortness of breath, and trouble moving around.

It is also our last week of being “non parents” we are kid free for 7 more days. I got out of my car yesterday while running errands and it was a blizzard outside. It occurred to me as I went running into the store that it was going to be so different now that I will have to buckle and unbuckle the baby now every time that I get out of the car! It’s going to be a much more complicated process and a lot harder in the snow. Little things like that are about to be so different, so we will be doing our best to celebrate and enjoy each other and our kidless freedom in the next week.

And the induction date has arrived…
We were surprised to learn that our induction date has been moved up and so this will be my last pregnant post! Tonight we head in to get things going and I should be holding my son tomorrow. I had a nervous breakdown last night after learning that this was it… I went through every emotion possible and bawled my eyes out most of the night. My thoughts ranged from what the heck did we get ourselves into, we’re not ready for this, to I’m going to be a MOM, and just pure elation. I feel like I’m schizophrenic and I go from crying to laughing in a split second.

I had not planned on going in for the induction yet, we were supposed to have one more day to wrap things up, one more day to spend time together, see a movie, clean the house, a million things on the to-do list. And now we’ve been ambushed… we are going in tonight!

Driving home with my hubby last night was the hardest thing I’ve done so far, we sat there in silence together pondering what is about to happen. A chapter of our lives together is over tomorrow and another chapter begins. He kept looking over at me smiling and wiping my tears, neither one of us knowing how to process what was going on. We had a snuggle fest in the bed last night, our last night of being the only way we know how to be. We cuddled with the dogs in the bed and held each other close. Our last night of good sleep, our last night of being just the two of us… we cried and talked and shared our excitement and fears. And dozed off together for the very last time as a family of two… tonight we go in to meet our son… after all of this time we will be holding him in our arms…

1 comments:

FJ said...

How endearing. I almost cried. I can't wait to hear how everything went and see pics of your little one.

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